Word for 2019

Be

Learning how to just be will be my intention for this year. It will probably continue to be my intention for the rest of my life. But I chose it as the word for this year because it’s what I felt I wanted to focus on the most. As much as I foresee transitions and new things happening hopefully someday soon, I believe that to be myself is a power that transcends all change.

So here I proclaim who it is that I am, and who I will continue to be.

I am a game changer, a mountain mover, a difference maker, a life enhancer.

I am a lover, fighter, adapter and evil-stopper.

I’m a thinker, feeler, worker and dreamer.

I’m a survivor, dancer, singer and shaker.

I’m a prophet, poet, empath and listener.

I’m a wielder of words, story craftsperson and home-builder.

I’m a welcomer, includer, accepter and affirmer.

Here’s to being

 

2018 Year End Reflections

This year, I’ve come to know more of what I don’t know. And I am more comfortable with the unknown even though at times I am terrified by it. Maybe this is what makes me wiser. I am in the last year of my 20’s and I’m determined to always learn, grow and change, no matter what my age. I will never stop reaching.

This year I have done a lot of things I never dreamed of doing before. I have challenged myself. I have gotten out of my comfort zone. I have tried new things. I have spent time alone and with other people processing, thinking and maturing. I hopefully never give up these habits. I hope my future years will carry on the same patterns, yet perhaps in different ways.

However, I would hate to come across as bragging. But I will no longer put myself down in the name of perceived religious humility. In any case, with God enabling me to live every day this year, I was able to breathe in and out, move my body and reason with my mind. And use my days to accomplish things that I believe are good and filled with love, which is always how I aspire to live. While many of my dreams may not have been accomplished yet, I still did many of the things I set out to do from my post written February. https://victoryblue.wordpress.com/2018/02/20/february-2018/

In 2018, I lived. I wrote poetry and articles. I struggled with a lot of anxiety and worked through it. I attended social gatherings and went on dates. I met new people and made new friends. I drove hundreds of miles for work and each day I was grateful for having been spared injury or death on the road. I laughed and I cried. I sought to follow God. I found God both in and out of churches. I’ve wrestled with the tragedies of the Borderline shooting and California fires. I have heard of the abuse of so many I know and love and grieved. I’ve had hard conversations where I spoke up and listened. I voted in the midterm election. I got a gym membership. I started a new job. I had fun. I was my sister’s maid of honor.

I also struggled to make ends meet. I had to cancel my birthday party because I was sick for over a month. I played many performances in beautiful and exciting venues I’ve never played at before. I’ve read books and blogs and articles and educated myself on topics that are important to me. I started many new forms of self-care and have seen the positive impact. I started a new YouTube channel. I wrote my family’s Christmas letter. I have been present as a daughter, sister, friend, teacher and colleague.

I may write another blog post about the new year at some point. But for now, I wanted to look back and remember. I wanted to affirm what I have done and been through and experienced these past twelve months. And to know that I am enough no matter what I did or did not do.