a prayer of honesty

I pray for a heart of compassion

I pray for eyes to see myself as you do

I pray for a mind aligned with love and truth

I pray for knowledge of the worth I have as image-bearer

 

I hunger for belonging

I crave a home of safety

I long for what you made me for

I thirst for how you designed me to live

 

I exist when you extend my life

I rest when you give me peace to sit

I fight when you give me strength to rise

I sigh when you dwell with me amidst fear

 

I can only wait with the days I still have

I can only wander with the time I have left

I can only feel with a heart tired from overuse

I can only reach with an already exhausted mind

 

If you listen, be near

If you hear me, stay with me

If you want me, keep me from the courtroom I face inside

If you remember me, show up and show me the way forward

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What eleven years has taught me

Feelings are okay to have. Own them. So they don’t have a life of their own.

People are confusing and hard to understand. But it’s okay.

Parties are hard to go to but people are just weird and that’s okay too

Working and surviving as an adult is difficult and don’t get angry with slow progressions.

Time is longer when you’re not in school anymore. Things take much longer than you’d like.

Sometimes the work you do can’t be seen on the outside but success shouldn’t be measured.

There are many things you can control and many things you can’t. Try to learn which is which.

It’s okay to not know what to do or what will happen.

It’s okay to have dreams about what you want to do and be in life.

It’s okay to not attain all your goals right now.

It’s best to not compare yourself to other people.

It is life that is the journey.

Exceed

See each other as purely who we are

Don’t hide

I perceive greatness

No matter how small or insignificant

I want you to fill out yourself

Be all of you, this masterpiece of your life

And don’t go to the shadows to be obscured

We need every bit of you

Keep your faith

Show your colors

Fight to the life

Save the day

We can’t wait to see you here

Please be

 

Where there is an opportunity to heal, take it

Where there is a chance to break the walls, do it

Where there is a way of life that is living loved, exude it

Where there is a standard of grace which surpasses perfection, embrace it

Heaven to Earth

Take courage

It is but another valley of the shadow of death

What you feel and see is dark

But I am pure Light and Life

Walk on through this place

And know that you are not alone

My heart

 

You are beside yourself

And so am I

You are overwhelmed

I am over you, around you

You are surrounded by fear

I surround you

You fight for your life

I fight for you

You feel yourself fading

I never stop watching over you

You wish you were stronger

I know you are as strong as you can be

You are tempted to war against yourself

I am always for you

You want peace

I create peace

Your tears fall on desert ground

I am your true oasis

You may not hear me always

I always hear you

Your soul exists for love

I am Love divine for you

Epitome

An invisible rainbow

Felt but not seen

Washed by rain

Pure and clean

 

A quiet bird song

Soaring softly

Shy but strong

Continuing courageously

 

The clouds at night

Gray and silent

Changing with wind out of sight

Intoxicated by forgotten sun

 

Enduring hillsides

Moving with the seasons

First green, then brown

From dust to ashes

 

I am creation

My heart and mind

In collision or harmony

Being created, I exist in kind

 

I fight, I love

I feel and also weep

I laugh, I thrive

My life – God’s to keep

 

Emotional Ears

Do you listen to emotion

Can you hear the sound of feeling

Do you hear what I say

Or do you hear what you want me to say

Do you see me as I am

Or do you see me as who you want me to be

Do you actually listen

Or do you just watch my mouth move

Do you actually see me

Or do you just hear the sound of my words

Do you see my silence as weakness

Do you see my few words as simpleness

Do you think I’m wrong

Because you don’t hear the words you think I should say

Above all, do you listen with gentleness

Do you hear with compassion

Do you feel with empathy

Please do

Broken Glass

If mine was a religion of guilt

I’m glad for the dark days that broke me away

 

If my God was boxed up in legalism

I’m thankful for the pain that tore me from that illusion

 

If the Christianity I knew was a life of fear

I’m grateful for the deep depression that proved that kind of existence was not livable

 

If the faith I held to was obscured by obligation

I’m content to have gone through the fire that burned it away so that faith could remain

 

If my belief system was cold, close-minded and unfeeling

I accept that the overwhelming numbness and intensity were well worth it to be rid of such things

 

If the way I experienced church was only in should’s, should not’s, ought’s and ought not’s

I see that the hurtful years shook me to my core so that I was finally able to see that God is love

 

If it was power, control and conformity that was “good”

Now I’m accepting the hundreds of days spent in doubt, questions and chaos that destroyed all that destruction in my life

 

If it was all self judgement and hate

I embrace the God who made and accepts me the way he created me