Speak Out

I have lived my entire life listening to others

I have survived so many years

Always them telling me what to do

I hear them telling me what they think

Over and over

They drowned me out

So I couldn’t hear myself

By then I stopped talking

I wouldn’t have listened to me anyway

Because they are so loud

And they push so hard

They scream and yell

That they’re right, I’m wrong

I’m so mad because

I got lost in their words

I couldn’t find my voice anymore

Because I didn’t have one

They took it away

I hate it when I feel little

My voice is gone

My ears are full

Of a thousand commands

Unspoken and spoken

Conflicting and perfecting

Torn apart by a world

And religion of broken people

Where do I turn

When I’m surrounded

With no advocate

Part of me is missing

And I’m drowning

Turning endlessly

Where does it stop?

Here

It starts now

You listen to yourself

And you stop listening to the rest of them

They have no right over you

They have no idea who you are

They have no capability of perceiving your pain

And no ability to feel it

So you hear your voice

Speak and listen to you

Shut your ears from the other sounds

Of people who don’t know

Enough is enough

Fill yourself with the missing piece of you

And be whole

It’s right to hear yourself speak

Don’t be afraid to say truth

To your own ears

You may not hear it otherwise

Don’t betray yourself

When you are the one who knows

Stand for yourself

And you won’t be trampled

The time has come for healing

I am ready

To speak for myself

And to listen to what I say

I’ve been waiting so long

Now I can

Finally rest

With my own voice

Reunited with my body

Complete and right

In myself

Where I am

Who I am

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Life

Should not be

About just so many

Do’s and don’t’s

How ugly living is

How many mistakes you make

How bad they are

How many people you displease

How many things go right for you or not

How much money, things, and stuff you have

Life

Should be

Beautiful

Because I am valuable

And I am here

Yes it’s messy

But it should be about more

People who are

Every one important, meaningful

And imperfectly alive

Colliding in blessed chaos

Making unpredictability expected

Control has no place

When it’s a world of surprising change

And yet the same simplicity

Striving so hard to hold on

Keep me here

To see life this way

As not endless lists

But colorful emotions

Felt by my heart

That beats

And feels

Worthfully

Measure

I wake up, surprised to find myself still alive

And still alone

My body has such an involuntary drive in living

My heart’s still pulsing, blood’s still pumping

And this world keeps turning

Reality

Rules dictating society, society creating rules

How can it all be real

Day in and day out the same

But I’m still here

Breathing

Existing

And I am enough

Being myself is enough

What I do is enough

And just living

Is more than good enough

Past

There will always be a part of me that remembers what if feels like to be weak and small.  I won’t ever forget what it’s like to live in the darkness.  Just because I’m not living in that place anymore does not mean that I don’t remember.  I recall the feeling so that I won’t ever forget the power of the God who rescued me again and again.  I remember the emotions, the emptiness, and the fear because I remember what I have learned of God and I tell myself that truth over and over every day.  I know what it was like then so that I know where I came from.

Even now sometimes I feel some of the same things.  And yet I know I feel because I am human and I am real.  I can feel.  I have emotions and feelings.  And I am not afraid of that.  I am not afraid of my mind.  I am not afraid of myself.  I am whole.  I am complete.  I have no need to fear.

Each

Every person is worth as much as every other individual.  I don’t care what they’ve done, said, or who they are.  They are still a life.  And should be treated as such.  There are no worthless people, no valueless person, and no life that is a waste.  All breath is a gift.  Every single living person is a treasure.  That means you.  That means me.