What eleven years has taught me

Feelings are okay to have. Own them. So they don’t have a life of their own.

People are confusing and hard to understand. But it’s okay.

Parties are hard to go to but people are just weird and that’s okay too

Working and surviving as an adult is difficult and don’t get angry with slow progressions.

Time is longer when you’re not in school anymore. Things take much longer than you’d like.

Sometimes the work you do can’t be seen on the outside but success shouldn’t be measured.

There are many things you can control and many things you can’t. Try to learn which is which.

It’s okay to not know what to do or what will happen.

It’s okay to have dreams about what you want to do and be in life.

It’s okay to not attain all your goals right now.

It’s best to not compare yourself to other people.

It is life that is the journey.



See each other as purely who we are

Don’t hide

I perceive greatness

No matter how small or insignificant

I want you to fill out yourself

Be all of you, this masterpiece of your life

And don’t go to the shadows to be obscured

We need every bit of you

Keep your faith

Show your colors

Fight to the life

Save the day

We can’t wait to see you here

Please be


Where there is an opportunity to heal, take it

Where there is a chance to break the walls, do it

Where there is a way of life that is living loved, exude it

Where there is a standard of grace which surpasses perfection, embrace it

Heaven to Earth

Take courage

It is but another valley of the shadow of death

What you feel and see is dark

But I am pure Light and Life

Walk on through this place

And know that you are not alone

My heart


You are beside yourself

And so am I

You are overwhelmed

I am over you, around you

You are surrounded by fear

I surround you

You fight for your life

I fight for you

You feel yourself fading

I never stop watching over you

You wish you were stronger

I know you are as strong as you can be

You are tempted to war against yourself

I am always for you

You want peace

I create peace

Your tears fall on desert ground

I am your true oasis

You may not hear me always

I always hear you

Your soul exists for love

I am Love divine for you


An invisible rainbow

Felt but not seen

Washed by rain

Pure and clean


A quiet bird song

Soaring softly

Shy but strong

Continuing courageously


The clouds at night

Gray and silent

Changing with wind out of sight

Intoxicated by forgotten sun


Enduring hillsides

Moving with the seasons

First green, then brown

From dust to ashes


I am creation

My heart and mind

In collision or harmony

Being created, I exist in kind


I fight, I love

I feel and also weep

I laugh, I thrive

My life – God’s to keep


Emotional Ears

Do you listen to emotion

Can you hear the sound of feeling

Do you hear what I say

Or do you hear what you want me to say

Do you see me as I am

Or do you see me as who you want me to be

Do you actually listen

Or do you just watch my mouth move

Do you actually see me

Or do you just hear the sound of my words

Do you see my silence as weakness

Do you see my few words as simpleness

Do you think I’m wrong

Because you don’t hear the words you think I should say

Above all, do you listen with gentleness

Do you hear with compassion

Do you feel with empathy

Please do

Broken Glass

If mine was a religion of guilt

I’m glad for the dark days that broke me away


If my God was boxed up in legalism

I’m thankful for the pain that tore me from that illusion


If the Christianity I knew was a life of fear

I’m grateful for the deep depression that proved that kind of existence was not livable


If the faith I held to was obscured by obligation

I’m content to have gone through the fire that burned it away so that faith could remain


If my belief system was cold, close-minded and unfeeling

I accept that the overwhelming numbness and intensity were well worth it to be rid of such things


If the way I experienced church was only in should’s, should not’s, ought’s and ought not’s

I see that the hurtful years shook me to my core so that I was finally able to see that God is love


If it was power, control and conformity that was “good”

Now I’m accepting the hundreds of days spent in doubt, questions and chaos that destroyed all that destruction in my life


If it was all self judgement and hate

I embrace the God who made and accepts me the way he created me

February, 2018

Last year in February, I looked back and wrote about the five previous February’s and milestones from those years. I also wrote about my word for the year 2017. You can find those links here:



This year, for February, I pause to look forward and write about a word for this current year, 2018.


Dream – the loaded word I have for this year, just showed up in my thoughts one day in January and stuck there. I never thought of myself as a dreamer. I don’t think I ever allowed myself to dream because I didn’t see much value in it. I was always very goal-oriented and would work very hard to accomplish those goals.


And then something happened: I didn’t accomplish some of my goals. In a strange way, that opened me up to possibilities beyond just my previous goals. If I couldn’t attain them all, why stay stuck in the rut of pursuing them? Why not allow myself to dream dreams that possibly wouldn’t happen but just allow myself to dream them anyway?


This year, the word dream means many things for me. It means being creative, trying new things, and working on new projects. It means meeting new people, going to new events, and checking out new environments. It means being a safe place for people that I never thought I’d be a safe place for. It means being confident that my desires, hopes, and callings are good when they are from God and blessed by Him.


To me, dream means letting myself out of my comfort zone sometimes. It means stretching myself and exploring new things that I’ve been scared of before. It means even trying things I think I’ll be bad at and yet trying them anyway. It means enjoying the life I have created because it is what I enjoy. It means finding myself.


Dream in 2018 means allowing myself to hope. It means being vulnerable and transparent even though it may be terrifying. It means looking back at how far I’ve come and expecting great things to come in the future. It means looking forward to making and having even better relationships, ones that are reciprocal, healthy, and beneficial. It means praying for things to happen, and when they don’t, realizing that I can’t control everything.


What does dream mean to you? What’s your word for the year, if you have one? If not, what’s your new year’s resolution(s)? Or what do you hope for in 2018?